How to be kind to yourself? A counsellor tells you about it

We regularly can’t help thinking about why the world is unforgiving on us, however we should initially think assuming that we are thoughtful to ourselves! A specialist discusses self-benevolence.

Being caring is significant – to the world and to yourself.

Suppose your companion has given their first endeavor for a serious test. They are energized and anticipating their results, yet tragically, they have fizzled. Their educator comes in and shouts at them saying; “You’re going no place throughout everyday life, you concentrated so a lot but fizzled, you’re simply a failure,

Then again, there is another educator who strolls in and tells them; “Hello that is alright, assuming you check out your responses you can see that your system is correct. You simply need to rehearse more, we can do it in class, you’ve buckled down on this, I’m certain you’ll breathe easy!”

Which teacher do you think will enable positive change in the student?

Which teacher are you to yourself when you make a mistake? How many of us beat ourselves down for our mistakes and actions? We get embarrassed easily and we stop trying altogether! “What if we fail? What will others think of us?” Our programmed reaction to not satisfying our expectations is to blame ourselves and get critical about our actions.

It’s NOT selfish to think about your own needs. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

We hold on to situations, without forgiving ourselves, destroying our peace of mind and sleep. Do we really deserve the punishment we give ourselves – reliving our negative emotions every day?

What does it mean to be kind?

Being kind to yourself means being able to look at your reflection in the mirror and saying the words “I love you” while actually meaning it. Many of us criticize our reflection, break down and can’t utter the words to ourselves.

What do we do then? The empathy you show others, should be shown to yourself as well. But in reality, we find flaws, compare ourselves to others and we hold our actions high as our expectations to always be right and perfect.

Physically, if we are asked to do an activity that we know will be detrimental to our health, we wouldn’t do it. So why is it that mentally we go through that pain and suffering knowing very well how harmful it is to us?

How to be more kind towards ourselves?

1. We can start by trying to track our thoughts and writing them on a piece of paper or tag them as and when they come. You can segregate them according to where they are stemming from – comparison, jealousy, control, childhood pain, etc.

2. Simply tag them and let them go, don’t give in to thinking about it which may cause you to spiral.

Practice self-love, always! Image courtesy: Shutterstock

3. Another activity you can do is to write what you’re grateful for every day! It can be about what you saw, small things you appreciate or even specifically about work, people in your life, about yourself or all of them!

4. You can supplement these, by listening to guided meditation of self-love and self-forgiveness.

The last word

To be kind to yourself is to forgive yourself for all your mistakes, to understand you only have this one body and mind for your entire life, and to treat it with respect and utmost love, to put yourself first, knowing when you need a break and taking one without guilt.

It is easy to understand what the word kind means to you. Simply, imagine a world where everyone is kind to each other. What would they do and how would you treat them? List them out and one by one, do them for yourself.

You deserve the kindness you show others. You deserve the kindness you crave!

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